Nicholas Gerard-Larson, a senior on the 2009 Milwaukee men's soccer team, will be blogging all season long on the UWM website. Today is his 13th blog entry.
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The external conditions for our final regular season game couldn’t have been more pristine. For several days leading up to the game, the weather had remained encouragingly warm and sunny, and Thursday night continued the unorthodox trend. A fairly large crowd gradually surrounded Engelmann Field, beckoned by the unexpected November mildness and the promise of an exciting in-state rivalry match. The wind proved itself complicit in maintaining a comfortable atmosphere, never rising above a slight, congenial breeze. By this time of year our field is generally pockmarked with deep ruts of exposed soil, like a vicious acne bout on some adolescent’s face. But this year the clumps of dead grass are mostly confined to the goalmouth, and as we took the field on Thursday night the towering lights above us properly completed my conception of a near perfect atmosphere.
The game held special significance for me, serving as the appropriate finale to my career on Engelmann Field. If the fates turned out hostile it would exist as my final collegiate match, so I approached the normal rigmarole of preparation with far more severity and appreciation, attempting to savor even the trivial aspects of our pre-match rituals. The announcement of our starting lineup triggered an interesting and contradictory collage of nostalgic memories and optimistic future endeavors, sentiments that continued to arise spontaneously throughout the course of the game.
I generally dwell on some soccer-related theme during the playing of the national anthem, yet this time I reveled in patriotic fervor, softly repeating each verse and relishing every historical connection, proving my college education’s useful capacity. I became transported to the American past: Gettysburg, Normandy, Iwo Jima, Selma, Haight-Ashbury. So many events, people, groups, identities, all claiming to represent America and its proper ideals. In the popular imagination every one of these historically pivotal events seems to exist in a bubble, a sanitized and untouchable safe haven, where the national anthem constantly plays, giving the scene a distinctly climatic and movie-like quality. Unfortunately, history rarely lives up to these idealistic depictions. But I allowed myself to endorse this unhistorical notion, albeit temporarily, since it’s far more entertaining and far more appropriate for the scene at hand. For that brief moment in time I became American History’s preeminent archetype: revolutionary, Minuteman, Union soldier, Doughboy, Marine, protestor, revivalist, Black Panther, activist, Olympian, citizen. Francis Scott Key’s 1814 poem, modeled off of a popular British drinking song, became my soundtrack.
Reality quickly returned with the short burst of a whistle and the game began. Madison had beaten us the last few times we played, both in the fall and spring, so we started the match with a determined resolve not to let it happen again. Both teams gained their fair share of chances in the first half, but neither side converted. We began the second half a little sluggish, but were able to avoid a goal during this period of temporary torpor, responding with several strong attacking surges as the half dragged into the closing minutes. Our defensive efforts finally proved insufficient as we helplessly allowed a Madison goal with a little over a minute left. The game ended with a 1-0 score line, another unlucky, yet certainly avoidable, defeat.
Luck would return to our team’s aid, however, on Saturday. Despite going down 1-0 in the first half, Butler rallied in the second to defeat Wright State and ensure us a place in the Horizon League playoffs. Our season continues with a match against Valparaiso on Tuesday, offering all the optimistic hopes and prospects of a championship run.
